Chad’s dailies

Dailies from an inbox


Archive for the 'stories' Category

Life’s Lessons to Surviving Anything

Tuesday, May 1st, 2007

Lesson 1: Naked Wife A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll [...]

Vancouver Blizzard 2006 – Revenge of the Commuters

Wednesday, December 13th, 2006

Chilled Vancouver commuters faced their second day of winter hell today, as an additional centimetre of the peculiar white stuff fell, bringing the lower mainland to its knees and causing millions of dollars worth of damage to the marijuana crops. Scientists suspect that the substance is some form of frozen water particles and experts from [...]

Grandpa!

Sunday, September 17th, 2006

A man went to visit his grandparents, and he noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down. “Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out in the wind for everyone to see!” he exclaimed. The old man looked off in [...]

WHY CANADIANS ARE SO TIRED

Sunday, September 17th, 2006

For a couple years I’ve been blaming it on lack of sleep, not enough sunshine, and too much pressure from my job, ear wax build-up, poor bloodor anything else I could think of. But now I found out the real reason: I’m tired because I’m overworked! Here’s why: The population of Canada is 30 million. [...]

Do U need a LAFF today?

Sunday, September 17th, 2006

Do U need a LAFF today? Woman Golfing: A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant You [...]

Something for the gloomy weather

Sunday, September 17th, 2006

At New York’s Kennedy airport , an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a [...]

You and your dam legalities

Saturday, September 16th, 2006

This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan. This guy’s response is hilarious, but read the State’s letter before you get to the response letter. SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County Dear Mr. DeVries: It has come [...]