“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we,”

“It is better to be thought an idiot than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.” “Silence in matters of wisdom is tantamount to speaking in matters of ignorance.” “God made beer because he loves us and wants us to be happy.” – Benjamin Franklin “Sorry to write such a long letter, I didn’t [...]

At New York’s Kennedy airport , an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a [...]

Fun reading…. I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of s—. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce. How about never? Is never good for you? I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. I’m really easy to get [...]

This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan. This guy’s response is hilarious, but read the State’s letter before you get to the response letter. SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County Dear Mr. DeVries: It has come [...]

Never hold your farts in. They travel up your spine, into your brain, and that’s where you get shitty ideas from