Chad’s dailies

Dailies from an inbox


Archive for the 'funnies' Category

Life’s Lessons to Surviving Anything

Tuesday, May 1st, 2007

Lesson 1: Naked Wife A man is getting into the shower just as his wife is finishing up her shower when the doorbell rings. The wife quickly wraps herself in a towel and runs downstairs. When she opens the door, there stands Bob, the next door neighbor. Before she says a word, Bob says, “I’ll [...]

Snowmobile River Crossing… meets tree

Wednesday, April 4th, 2007

Italian Boy Confession

Wednesday, April 4th, 2007

Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman. The priest ask, “Is that you, little Johnny Parisi? Yes, Father it is. And who was the woman you were with? I can’t tell you, Father. I don’t want to ruin her reputation. Well, Johnny, I’m sure to find out her [...]

Terror Alerts

Sunday, April 1st, 2007

The newswires have reported that the French Government has announced that it has raised its terror alert level from ‘Run’ to ‘Hide’. The only two higher levels in France are ‘Surrender’ and ‘Collaborate’. The rise was precipitated by a recent fire which destroyed France’s White Flag factory, effectively disabling their military. The Italians have increased [...]

Hormone Hostage

Thursday, November 16th, 2006

The Hormone Hostage knows that there are days in the month when all a man has to do is open his mouth and he takes his life in his own hands! This is a handy guide that should be as common as a driver’s license in the wallet of every husband, boyfriend, co-worker or significant [...]

Employee Performance Review

Saturday, September 23rd, 2006

These individual quotes were reportedly taken from the actual employee performance evaluations in a large US Corporation. “Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom…. and has started to dig” “His men would follow him anywhere… but only out of morbid curiosity” “I would not allow this employee to breed” “This employee is [...]

Grandpa!

Sunday, September 17th, 2006

A man went to visit his grandparents, and he noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down. “Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out in the wind for everyone to see!” he exclaimed. The old man looked off in [...]

WHY CANADIANS ARE SO TIRED

Sunday, September 17th, 2006

For a couple years I’ve been blaming it on lack of sleep, not enough sunshine, and too much pressure from my job, ear wax build-up, poor bloodor anything else I could think of. But now I found out the real reason: I’m tired because I’m overworked! Here’s why: The population of Canada is 30 million. [...]

Do U need a LAFF today?

Sunday, September 17th, 2006

Do U need a LAFF today? Woman Golfing: A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant You [...]

How To Clean Your Toilet – The Fun Way

Sunday, September 17th, 2006

Instructions on how to clean your toilet 1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both [...]