Chad’s dailies

Dailies from an inbox


Archive for September, 2006

Employee Performance Review

Saturday, September 23rd, 2006

These individual quotes were reportedly taken from the actual employee performance evaluations in a large US Corporation. “Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom…. and has started to dig” “His men would follow him anywhere… but only out of morbid curiosity” “I would not allow this employee to breed” “This employee is [...]

Grandpa!

Sunday, September 17th, 2006

A man went to visit his grandparents, and he noticed his grandfather sitting on the porch, in the rocking chair, wearing only a shirt, with nothing on from the waist down. “Grandpa, what are you doing? Your weenie is out in the wind for everyone to see!” he exclaimed. The old man looked off in [...]

WHY CANADIANS ARE SO TIRED

Sunday, September 17th, 2006

For a couple years I’ve been blaming it on lack of sleep, not enough sunshine, and too much pressure from my job, ear wax build-up, poor bloodor anything else I could think of. But now I found out the real reason: I’m tired because I’m overworked! Here’s why: The population of Canada is 30 million. [...]

Do U need a LAFF today?

Sunday, September 17th, 2006

Do U need a LAFF today? Woman Golfing: A woman was out golfing one day when she hit the ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, “If you release me from this trap, I will grant You [...]

How To Clean Your Toilet – The Fun Way

Sunday, September 17th, 2006

Instructions on how to clean your toilet 1. Put both lids of the toilet up and add 1/8 cup of pet shampoo to the water in the bowl. Pick up the cat and soothe him while you carry him towards the bathroom. In one smooth movement, put the cat in the toilet and close both [...]

Bush Quotes

Sunday, September 17th, 2006

“Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and neither do we,”

Quotes

Sunday, September 17th, 2006

“It is better to be thought an idiot than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.” “Silence in matters of wisdom is tantamount to speaking in matters of ignorance.” “God made beer because he loves us and wants us to be happy.” – Benjamin Franklin “Sorry to write such a long letter, I didn’t [...]

Something for the gloomy weather

Sunday, September 17th, 2006

At New York’s Kennedy airport , an individual later discovered to be a public school teacher was arrested trying to board a flight while in possession of a ruler, a protractor, a setsquare, a slide rule, and a calculator. At a morning press conference, Attorney general John Ashcroft said he believes the man is a [...]

Things you hope you will not say out loud at work…

Sunday, September 17th, 2006

Fun reading…. I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of s—. I don’t know what your problem is, but I’ll bet it’s hard to pronounce. How about never? Is never good for you? I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public. I’m really easy to get [...]

You and your dam legalities

Saturday, September 16th, 2006

This is an actual letter sent to a man named Ryan DeVries by the Michigan Department of Environmental Quality, State of Michigan. This guy’s response is hilarious, but read the State’s letter before you get to the response letter. SUBJECT: DEQ File No.97-59-0023; T11N; R10W, Sec. 20; Montcalm County Dear Mr. DeVries: It has come [...]